Yes, I know, you've been there for me over the years. A cuddle buddy when I had no one. And I can't thank you enough for all of the late night laughs. I will never forget the tickle of your mustache on my neck, or the sweet smell of semen on your breath, or how you'd never hogged the blankets. Even so, I cannot pretend any longer. I do not love you, I never did. You were a placeholder. A poor man's Stalin. I've come to my senses and now I'm letting you go so I can grab a hold of someone real, someone true and someone less Satan-y.